Ever The Same
by Curlybear
Summary: Sam, separated from Dean, falls down a hole. While waiting for his brother, Sam starts thinking about how dependent he is on Dean, and realizes a few things. Lots of brotherly love and comfort!


Hey everyone! It's been a while, but I've finally produced another one-shot. I wrote this, extremely inspired by another fic I read ages ago from another fandom. I can't remember what it was called though. It helped a lot, so I just want to give credit to that story, even though I don't know the name of the author or fic. I'm keeping myself busy while waiting for season three, which I am so excited about!

Title taken from the Rob Thomas' song, which you should listen to. It fits Dean and Sam perfectly!

I really, really, really hope you enjoy this, and that you will take the time to review, maybe? Please. :) That would make my day. Thank you so much.

Love, Curlybear.

* * *

**_Fall on me_**

**_Tell me everything you want me to be_**

**_Forever with you_**

**_Forever in me_**

**_Ever the same_**

_Rob Thomas - Ever The Same_

* * *

**Ever The Same**

It was damp, cold and dark. And it smelled like dirt.

But he could see and feel the light spilling in from up above, giving him some comfort.

Sam opened his eyes and looked up, wondering; wondering where Dean was, and if he was alright. He was probably freaking out.

Sam berated himself. He had not been looking where he was going, running and searching with desperate eyes. He had fallen down suddenly. When he had recovered, he realized that he had landed up in a hole. It wasn't that deep, but he wasn't tall enough (would you believe it) to climb out by himself. No severe injuries, just some bruises and irritation flaring inside... Not only was he irritated over himself: his sensitive phone had malfunctioned after the fall, so he couldn't contact Dean.

Typical.

Now, he just had to wait for Dean to find him. He hated waiting for him like this. Dean would probably get mad at him for ending up in a freaking hole. It was silent above though, and Sam was still wondering.

He hoped nothing had happened to Dean. And that he wasn't worrying him too much.

He hoped that the setting sun was holding out, strong enough to guide his brother a little longer.

He started to think about him. Dean; his big brother. How could he not? Sam always made him worry. Dean carried so much weight and unnecessary responsibility. He blamed their father for Dean's selflessness, but it didn't help that Sam was, in Dean's own words actually, _dumping_ problems on him. Why couldn't Sam just take care of himself?

The truth is; he needed Dean, more than he imagined. But he didn't _want_ to need Dean so much. He realized over and over again that he was incredibly dependent on him. He needed his support and his strength. Ever since they were kids, Dean's always helped him through everything; all the darkness, all the injuries, all the problems. Everything... And he was grateful. Sam didn't want to be a burden though.

But he was.

Dean was always saving his ass and watching out for him, and now Dean had to save him from the darkness that could flourish inside of him, and if he didn't manage to do that, he had to kill him. It was too much. Dean was constantly joking around and putting on a strong face, but deep down he knew Dean was suffering. And it was because of him.

Just like now, he had gotten himself into trouble. Falling down a hole like a complete idiot. It wasn't long ago that he got himself possessed and put Dean through hell. Sam had even shot him. Well, Dean told him that he hadn't, that it wasn't him. But it was his body, his fault that he had let the demon enter him.

Sam was starting to believe that he was a curse for his family. He had proof: people died around him all the time. And one day, Dean would die protecting him. How could he live with the fact that Dean died for him? How could he lose his brother like that?

Sam shook his head, berating himself again for getting so emotional just by falling down a pathetic hole. He suddenly felt a tear; a foreign, yet familiar substance gliding down his skin. Sam, sitting and leaning against the wall of dirt behind him, brought his knees to his chest, and rested his head against them, trying to make himself as small as possible and become one with the darkness. He felt his chocolate strands cover his eyes.

'_Damn it.'_

Everything was his fault. Everything was his fucking fault. He didn't want to weigh down Dean anymore...

"SAM!"

Speak of the devil; he didn't like that phrase.

It was Dean. He was alright. Relief washed through Sam like a giant wave. He smiled, but didn't say anything. He could hear him crunching through the bushes, heavily...

"Sam... Sam?" He shouted again, more loudly this time.

Sam opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out. What if...?

His thoughts were broken when he felt dirt fall on his head. He looked up, and saw Dean peering down at him, concern written all over his face.

"Sam!" He said, relief woven in his hoarse voice. Dean didn't hesitate. He jumped down, landing in a crouched position in front of Sam, his green eyes and face breaking through the darkness. He could see Dean clearly. Saving him again.

"Answer me when I'm calling you, god damn it." He said, trying to sound angry, but the relief in his voice was still there, overpowering every other emotion.

"Hey." Sam whispered.

"I can't believe you fell in a stupid hole like this. You okay?" Dean asked. Sam felt the tears pressing trough again. He really did cause a lot of trouble. Dean looked tired. He had probably been searching relentlessly for the past hour.

"What's the matter? You didn't _actually_ hurt yourself falling down here, did you?" He asked, with a hint of embarrassment, but he was smiling. Sam could see that his concern hadn't melted away though.

It probably never would.

He bent down, so he could look at Sam properly.

"Dean, I..." He began, but his voice was broken and he felt something blocking his throat.

"Sam...?" Dean asked. Now he was completely serious.

"I'm so sorry!" Sam blurted out, his emotions finally evident in all of him. He looked into Dean's emerald eyes.

Sam knew this was unfair. He just wanted Dean to envelope him in warmth. So selfish... He was so fucking selfish.

"For what?" Dean asked, voice low and grave. He hadn't heard Dean's voice like that in a while.

"For everything... It's just that... I can't not need you. And I don't mean to be a pain in the ass, but I know I am. I'm a burden... I should probably just leave..." Sam said, slowly and uncertainly. He knew he could never leave though, and he didn't want to. Not without Dean. He looked down, his hair partially covering his face again. He didn't want Dean to see him like this...

Suddenly, he felt familiar knuckles gently placed under his chin, and his face was tilted up so that Dean could look at him, see Sam's eyes again. Sam's heart skipped a million beats as he felt a strange warmth surge through him, soothing him.

"Listen to me. You are nothing like that, okay? I don't want you to leave, not ever, you got that?" He said, sternly, yet gently. His eyes were shining, and Sam felt overwhelmed. He didn't think Dean would say that, and it felt good to hear his brother console him, reassure him that they were okay, even though everything else was messed up.

"But what if I hurt you? What if you die because of me?" Sam asked, with fear.

"Don't worry. Nothing is going to happen to me. You can't hurt me even if you tried." Dean said, with a confident smile. Sam knew Dean thought he was made out of steel, but that wasn't the case. Sure, Dean could take on a huge amount of physical damage, but what about his heart? Dean internalized everything, and smiled through it, but inside, he hurt like hell.

"Dean..."

"Listen to me, jerk, because it's the damn truth. I need you here, alright?"

Sam finally listened. He nodded gently, rubbing away the tears that lingered on his dirty face. Hard. Seeming to notice this, Dean took his wrist and lowered it from his eyes.

"Hey, Sam... let's get out of here, okay?" Dean suggested. With one more nod, Dean helped him up, Sam leaning against him for a brief moment. He just needed to breathe.

Together, they began to climb out of the hole. Sam boosted him up so that he could climb over the edge, and Dean turned around, extended an arm to reach out for his little brother. Sam didn't want to be troublesome, not ever and not now, and he tried making it as easy as possible for Dean to pull him up, but Dean seemed unbothered by the exertion. Sam knew Dean would always carry his weight without question, and Sam felt appreciation stream through him.

He wondered how Dean always knew how to find him. How to save him... They began to walk through the woods quietly, Sam still contemplating. He felt better though, his chest not so tight and the weight not so heavy.

And he knew why.

"Dean..." Sam whispered, feeling gratitude consume every fibre in his body, and he had to express it to his brother. Because he deserved it... Dean turned around, eyebrows raised slightly with curiosity.

"Thanks." He said, warmly. Dean smiled crookedly, but his eyes were shining.

"It's okay, Sam. It's my job. Now let's get the hell out of this place." Dean said. Sam nodded to his suggestion, and they continued onwards. Eventually, they came to a clean path framed with emerald bushes and trees. They walked down it, shoulders brushing against each other. Dean was staying close, probably because they had been separated. But that was okay.

Sam felt safe.

And they savoured the rare moment of tranquillity amongst the darkness.

**The End.**


End file.
